Friend’s In need of editing or a critique?

If you need a critique  or a line edit. Michelle Sutton published author does it all. Published author  of novels, member of American Christian Fiction Writer’s this lady is a wonderful wealth of knowledge. She is on face book and Twitter so don’t hesitate to contact her. She is helping me right now and is very reasonable on price.

Chapter 20 Death Fire

He carried the pressure  cooker of food into the shack bringing up the rear with a basket of bread and other goodies I was surprised on how much bigger the place on the inside actually was. The place had been built in a cavern that the walls were completely smooth from the winds. The original cavern was probably started hundreds of years earlier.  The sandstone made with the different layers of sand made for beautiful walls. The front wall covered a opening with a Sandstone wall.  You would never know it from the outside. The living room  was an area of about 20 by 20 had with a fireplace that had  a natural chimney. He  had  decorated in heavy wooded furniture that had rich chocolate brown microfiber cushions that you could sink into. The couch had a hand knitted ivory colored afghan tossed on it. The main focus of the room was the fireplace and stone hearth.
The kitchen had all the modern conveniences plus a wall of natural cabinets he had taken the crevices made them his pantry. A heavy wooden bar worked for a table and a place people could sit and talk as he worked in the kitchen. The lighting consisted of recessed can lighting. The effect was very pleasing.
“I talked to my other aunt’s today.”
Looking at his face I saw the hurt that he was feeling.
“I assume it wasn’t a good conversation from the look on your face.”
“You would be right. They were both uncooperative to talk about anything. I’m not sure what to believe. They were never out and out cruel to me. They both let me know that they wouldn’t  care if I  dropped off the face of the Earth. I am the one that caused all the problems in the family.” Shaking his head they never said a word about Aunt Ina’s funeral. So I  am  done with them.”
I served the green  beans on the heavy stoneware plates he handed me.
“So now what?”
” I am going to make a trip down to the lost river and see if I can find out anything. I talked to my commander and he is checking about the large battery affect but I get the feeling nothing is going to come of it.”
” I am going with you.” I reached out to touch his hand only to be met with anger.
“No you’re not. I won’t let you go, it’s to dangerous.”
“Well tough I am going. You don’t know where the opening is and I do and I have been thinking about it. I have been down past the wall. It was a long time ago . I can act as your guide.”
His face went dark. I  could see he was angry but he saw the sense in what I was thinking.
“Listen Ella, it’s not that I mind you going with me. But if you got hurt. I  think it would kill me. I have been too close to people in the military and have lost close friends. I am not willing to let something happen to you.”
Some how I appreciated the thought. But it angered me that he didn’t think I  could handle it. “So I am supposed to sit and wait on you to come back like a good girl. Listen to me and listen good. I am going with or without you. Roberta was,a friend of mine. So was little Sammy, if I can help give either of them peace all the better. So get over this he-man crap and deal with it.”
I wasn’t expecting his reaction. His hands gripped my shoulders turning me to him. “Don’t you get it you little fool. I’m not sure if I could protect you from her.”
” Don’t you get it I would rather take the chance of being killed down in that God forsaken hole. Than staying here and not knowing if you’re alive or dead down there.”
His lips found mine right after his arms pulled me close.
In the corner by the fireplace a small boy sat watching the two of them.They had no idea what they were in for.He stood up and dissolved into nothing. He would try to keep them safe.

Chapter 19 Death Fire

The next couple of days seemed to take forever to pass. Josh had to catch up on his calls. I  found out he is the only veterinarian in a twenty mile range.
I  was a little luckier. Jack Deacons Teeney’s soon to be stepfather was a doctor from down Huntington way. He wanted to work in this area. He and I talked and he decided to come in with me. He had specialized in psychology so it would be a blessing to have him in the area. I  was covering for Dr. Weston and he was  talking about staying in Missouri.
I  took dinner over to Josh  a couple of days later unannounced.  His place was a small shack that from the outside was nothing but barn boards. The dog in the yard growled. He was huge and looked as if he were half bear and half wolf. After swallowing hard I noticed the door opened.
“What in the world are you doing here?”
“I brought dinner. Is that a problem? I heard you were doing pregnancy checks of the Orman’s herd today I thought you might enjoy not having to cook tonight. But if you don’t want fresh greenbeans, ham and new potatoes.I can take this back with me.”
“You do and I’ll sic Roberta on you. Come on in. Jeb now you lay down and be good.”
I  reached into a plastic bag and tossed the dog a ham knuckle. The dog caught the bone and went over and laid down. Licking the bone.
“I guess I  should have asked first.”
“Your spoiling both of us. We could get
used to it.”

Death Fire 13

Josh and I hit the diner for dinner. A small local place that served the best food in town. Designed in the fifties with red and white checked table clothes cokes and juke box. So retro you could almost see the bobbersoxers, poodle skirts, and t-shirts with the cigs rolled up in the sleeves. Come to think of it that pretty much summed up the clientele of Rennie’s. Poodle skirts had been replaced by jeans for nearly everyone.
“Okay I have some questions?”Josh looked at me as if I had just said, I wanted to slit his throat.
Sighing “Go ahead.”
“Just which sister is your Mom? Imagene, Margaret, Ida, Lorraine, Roberta, Nelda? I am excluding Ina since I know she was your aunt.” I leaned back in my seat.
He chuckled in a deep voice. He looked over his glass of sweet tea at me. His eyes laughing at me.
Looking at him. It hit me I could see his Mom in him.
It must have shown on my face. I don’t know if he realized by my reaction that I knew.
“You are Roberta’s son.” I blurted out.
“Yes Roberta or Bobby Sue as my Grandfather called her. She ran off shortly after I was born.”
Our food came and I found my appetite had vanished. In fact the food made my stomach queasy.
“Ella, do you know something about her?”
“She is probably the reason I went into medicine.”
It took a few minutes for him to inhale the food and to digest what I had said.
Finally he asked, “tell me every thing you know please.”

Changing Genre

Since I have started writing I have always tried to do something that kept people’s interest. After publishing my first short story, a romance. I have not had any luck getting anything else liked, my inspirational story fell flat. It was a sweet story and it was turned down by a sweet story publisher.
Well its time to back up and regroup. Thinking about it I have quit fighting  what my oldest stepson wants me to do. Finish a story of creepiness, mayhem, and general horror. You see I started a story a while back and I wrote out the most interesting character. Well I trashed the while story. Can we say Borrrrreing, a complete snooze fest. But the one character comes to visit regularly.
So I am finishing her story. She is a complete unmitigated psycho. Known as the killing Princess. I find I am having fun writing again. The title is at the moment known as the Red Haze.
So changing genres may be the best thing I can do
She isn’t a inspirational story but it maybe something that you read with the lights on.

How does one meet mentors and friends in new genres

I am changing genres. Not just romance to erotic romance or paranormal. I am changing from romance to thriller, psychological.
Eventually, I intend to join the
International Thrill Writers organization.
In the mean time, are the people who would like to get together and talk to a newbie?
Is there a way to talk to people who are interested in these genres before joining?
If there is please contact me a by leaving a comment. I would love to talk to you.
It would be so nice to talk to people who Don’t get a glazed look on their face when I mention the current murder my character is completing.

Gwyn Weyant