Death Fire 16

“Okay so where do we start?”I asked Josh. “If we don’t find her there is no telling what will happen next. Even if she’s a ghost she’ll be at Ina’s funeral.”
I watched Jack and Debbie come in with the kids. Teeney was holding on to Jack’s hand. He picked the child up and put her in the booster seat. Teeney had on a birthday hat. I remembered Teeney used to play with Sammy.
“Be right back.” Stepping over to the other table.
“Excuse me I have a question for Teeney. Sweetie have you heard from Sammy lately?”
Teeney shook her head no “I won’t either he is going far away so the evil won’t find him.” She began coloring the place mat.
“When did he tell you this?” I asked looking at Debbie and Jack.
“Honey tell Doctor Ella.” Debbie said
“I can’t he asked me not too. Before he disappeared.” Teeney continued to color.
Jack stood up to talk to me. “Debbie
Is worried about Teeney. She is telling stories about some pretty outrageous things. Look at the picture she’s coloring.”
Looking down at the drawing was a little figure and the cyclones with red white and blue in it.
“Teeney, have you seen this someplace?”
“No Sammy told me about it. He thinks its started because of him. He thinks it wants him.”
“Will you do me a favor if you talk to Sammy, tell him to come talk to me. Tell him that we are working to make it stop okay?” Teeney smiled at me.
“I’ll tell him. If he comes back.”
“Debbie ,Jack I can’t tell you right now what’s going on but Teeney isn’t involved as far as we know other than she is a messenger. I don’t believe she’ll be involved otherwise. Happy Birthday Teeney.” Debbie smiled in relief.
Going back to the table we sat talking I caught the guys up on what I’d learned from Teeney.
“Okay I don’t believe Sammy is alive Teeney specifically he disappeared as if he faded out maybe an apparition. We need to go talk to Ronald’s wife. We need to know what Ronald’s involvement in this is.

Death Fire 14

“During the summer I volunteered at the old mental hospital. My foster parents were happy I wasn’t in trouble like most my classmates. A woman was brought in by her father. He signed her in and insisted that the doctors keep her.”
I hesitated to continue because what I knew would hurt him. I didn’t want to do that.
“Her name was Roberta Davis. She kept saying you promised to let me have him back ,you lied. Where is my son? I must have been about sixteen at that time. I volunteered all through the year a day or two a week so that I could work with Roberta. She told me her father had kept her son and stuck her in the mental ward so she couldn’t see the child. When I left for college she still resided there. I met Ina after she came in and visited Roberta. I wasn’t allowed in of course, but as I was delivering lunch trays she left the room. I heard the last of the conversation. She said, “he is a grown man and I raised him like I promised so just forget about it. He doesn’t even know who you are. Dad made sure of that. He is in the military and a good man. You just either lay down and die or disappear because he will never know you.”
I took lunch to Roberta not long after she left. Roberta looked at me and said, no matter what you do in life don’t trust relatives they will turn on you. She rolled over and until I left for college she barely spoke another word.”
It was that summer they found the underground river. A bunch of us kids went down to see it. It was pretty neat there were fish that hadn’t been seen but one other time and that was over in Indiana when they found a under ground river. So it was a big deal. They brought in a bunch of scientific people. Mainly Archeologists so they could see how old the river was. Going back I told Roberta all about it. She showed interest for the first time in months. She started going on walks around the grounds with me. The doctor was very pleased.
Once I left for school I wrote her once a week. I never heard anything but I hoped it helped her. I got a letter inside another letter. A girl I had worked with caught me up on all the news from around here and she said that Roberta asked me to send you this.
The letter was just a few lines it said don’t write anymore. I have it figured out. Every thing is fine. Study hard. Love Roberta.”
I never heard from her again. Letters from the girl who included the letter to me later wrote saying that Roberta went for a walk and wandered off. She claimed part of the fence was down on the property. She was just gone.
“The whole time I knew Roberta she was either so depressed or so angry that she had to be restrained so she didn’t hurt herself or someone else. That’s why I never understood why with me she never showed signs of being depressed or angry. Because they wouldn’t let me take her for walks if she was dangerous.”
Josh motioned for the waitress and ordered us dessert and coffee.
He didn’t say anything for a long time. “Well what you have told me fits with everything Aunt Ina has told me right down to the fight. I was in the military for fifteen years starting at eighteen. Ina said Granddad found my mom living in a commune of hippies. She said it was a bunch of kids that dabbled in wiccan. But they sold Mom out for Granddad’s money.”
“Ella will you not think bad of me if I told you that I could feel Mom at that cabin today?”

Mother’s day

I have been at two different truck stops today. Both times I have been treated with the utmost respect. A good meal a
Discount coupon for my next meal. I was given something both times I hadn’t expected. I received two flowers both carnations. A single flower from two different waitresses. Both were working mothers. One had grown kids and the other had girls ages 4, 6, and 10.
These women who should have gotten flowers, were giving me the flowers. Oh I know that that Truck stops of America can afford it. But it still touched my heart.
I don’t have natural children of my own. It wasn’t in God’s plans for me. My husband’s boys call me mom. Which I appreciate. I love those boys as if they were my own.
I don’t regret many things in my life. I have a very blessed life. But I do regret not being able to have held a new born in my arms. Waking up to a gleeful laugh coming from a little cherub who is laughing at something only they can see. Having someone ask “why?” for the hundredth time. Watching the first steps, the first words, the first award in school.
Sorry don’t mean to get melancholy. But I do when I know I will never hear the word Mom coming to me or about me from a child of my own.
So today here is my prayer for today.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please bless all the mother’s in this world let them know how lucky they are as parents. May they never know the ache of missing a child, for whatever reason. Amen.,

Everything Good, Counting blessings part 2

My husband of Twenty-six years and I have been through a lot together. All of it seems to happen a year a part. Let me explain:

We were married in Jan of 1987, my father died in October of 1987. We lost my father-in-law in 1988. Then there were deaths of some of our favorite uncle’s, aunts, and so on right up until the deaths of our Mother’s mine in July of 2010,and his in June of 2011.

In that time he and I have gone through money problems due to said divorces, his kids getting to know me and adjusting accordingly.(I am happy to Say that his sons in my book are my son’s.)

We have traveled well over 2,000,000 miles in the box the size of an 8×8 room. (Cab of a semi truck,), saw Disney land on both coasts, Knots Berry Farm, King’ s Island, and gambled in
Both Atlantic city and Las Vegas.

We have fought over bills, golf, bowling, and even had a skunk live under our trailer in Greenwood, Indiana.(not a pleasant time- to remove skunk from under a mobile home remove under pinning just far enough to throw in a can of some sort of bug fogger under the trailer. Then leave for the afternoon. Skunks will leave also Usually with out spraying the trailer. Second advantage to that, it will get rid of any unwanted spiders, ticks roaches or ants)

But I will forever count him as one of the good Lord’s blessings to me. Because he has been there throughout all my problems. The man has stayed by me when most people would have called it quits years ago.

Thank you Holt B. Weyant for being a blessing and the love of my life.

No place for a dreamer.

Her parents told the little girl:
You can be anything you want. You can grow up to be president, congress and God Forbid a Democrat .
You can do anything you want as long as you listen to us.
You can do anything you like as long as it falls into the guidelines and you become just like your sister the nurse,lawyer, doctor. But you can’t be a dreamer.

We can’t have you embarrassing us. So get out of the book and do your homework.
Practice your instrument, Do the dishes but don’t waste your time with having an imagination.
That will never get you anywhere in life. Look at that child he/or she is nothing but a dreamer,
She’ll never amount to anything. You just have to stay on her at all times or she’ll will be nothing but trouble.

Who would have believed it She has dreamed herself right into the movies, a television career, she has published a book. she just solved the crime of the century. He is a federal agent.
Who would have believed it. She is walking the stage for her Oscar.
You know she wouldn’t have gotten anywhere without her parents and family pushing her.

She was always such a dreamer. She never comes home she is just a ungrateful child. Oh she ran away a long time ago. Drugs I think, I heard she’s living in some fancy place out west.
Oh no, don’t you know the only fancy place she is living in is the mental hospital .

Well she always was a dreamer. You can’t do anything with these kids these days. Dreamers just don’t live up to expectations. Well excuse me. She couldn’t live up to expectations that were so high that she couldn’t hit the mark. her sister is the lawyer and her brother is a doctor.
OH Yes, her sister became a lawyer after having two kids by the time she was nineteen. Her brother the doctor was hurt when the meth lab he and a friend blew up killing the friend.

You dare to put her down for being a dreamer. What did she ever do so horrible but want to act, want to write, want to dance, or write music. But she was a dreamer and there is no place in our lives for dreamers.

New author no support.

I stay in contact with one or two younger authors that are just starting out. One asked me not to use her name she has her contract but has not picked the name she is using to publish under yet. And the second woman like me Isn’t worried about things.

The debate in question was and I quote “Why is it so hard for new authors to get  reviews to help them out. Jane told me that she can’t even get her sister to read her book. And Terri (the lady with the contract) said that she had lots of critique  buddies so she has lots of review help.

In my own experience I seem to have people that are buying my book but don’t want to help by putting up a review? I have even gone as far as (like any author) and bought the books and sent the books out for review and still nothing.

Jane believes that it is because family don’t want to believe that the person has done well. Terri thinks it’s pure shock that a new author has got the contract to begin with.

Well I don’t have critique partners because I drove semi and  never got to join a critique group because I never felt it was right that someone would help me and then me not be able to participate fully with the group.

So how does one motivate people to review?
Time money and effort or pure tenacity?

Thoughts, discussion or how about a mud flinging contest?

2013 What will bring?

There are so many things that I could use right now. But here is a list that matters most.

My Faith in Our Lord Jesus to be stronger with each passing day.

Everyone to have a safe and prosperous year, (military, Government and anyone that is ill)
For the unemployed to find jobs (those without jobs, those coming out of school those waiting on their certifications.)

Everyone to have their dreams come true. Be it writer’s getting their first story Sold, or taking that trip to climb Mount Everest. Go live those dreams.

May our Children know that a) their parents love them, B.) I f they have left home may they find their way back home and Those that are missing be remembered for ever.

May our Parents that are ill either physically or in some cases mentally find the health they need, and may they also realize that their families love them.

Yes I could make be noise about what I need. But what I need. may sound over used and folks Christmas is over But I’m going to say it anyway.

Let’s have some Peace on Earth and Good will to men. Bless us all everyone.~ thank you Charles Dickens.