Robin Williams dead


It is sad that a comedian, actor, Father had no one to turn too in his moment of depressed mind could take no more.
I realize that everyone has their weakness. I myself have suffered with depression and did consider what  he did. I did consider suicide at one point. But I turned to a greater force than the depression.
Now I am not here to preach about what God has done for me. I don’t believe that’s why I am writing this. I believe there is help for everyone who wants it.
Even Mr. Williams could have sought help. Did he think it was a sign of weakness to ask for help?
Did his family turn away thinking that’s dad he is okay, he is strong. People don’t understand how alone it feels when you have no one to talk to.
Oh yes there are the questions.
What have you got to be depressed about. Buck up you don’t have any problems.
But they don’t know and will never be able to understand because they weren’t, in his shoes, in his psyche so maybe there was something going on he hadn’t told anyone.
We don’t know and will never know. But in memory of Robin Williams go to the strongest person you know, or the weakest person you know and give them the hug. That you don’t know they need but it might just change someone’s life.

Just a crazy moment But….


As a writer we all plot our stories. Whether it be on paper, computer, or the back of a napkin at a diner while having coffee.
My husband helped go over a semi wreck in the dust on a 53′ box van that he was using for work.
Today’s question:
What would you use to do a murder. Would it be a nice clean murder, freeze the body and cut it up before it thawed no muss, no fuss.
Or would you be the more bloody type cave the jokers head in with a ten pounds  sledge hammer or splitting mull.
Neat as in arsenic or mercury poisoning.
Or thoroughly demented with the piano wire wrapped around the neck, and if the didn’t quite do the job, a machete through the chest.
Knitting needles through the eyes or double 00 buckshot at close range.
The real question is do you want a gory bloody mess or never be found out, knowing you have committed the perfect murder.
Me I don’t know I see advantages to neat and clean but to write a character that is so completely insane that she stands there dripping in her victims blood, or screaming  as they lock her away in the cell in the state Hospital for the criminally insane. Hmm fodder for a new story. As she laughs maniacally.

Life’s little mundane tasks.


So you have the every day job, that drives you nuts. The coworker that seems to be the boss’s favorite. You got passed up for the job because of a glitch in the system. No small relief when that employee didn’t get it either.
The kids come in with a ton of homework and complaining about teachers.
The house is covered in mud and dust the youngest is a class act mud pie maker. The dust is because you haven’t been in the house for the biggest part of two weeks except for meals.
Laundry is stacked to the ceiling because the repairman didn’t show for the washer.
You are ready to scream when you burn the best taco casserole ever.
Hubby comes in with news of a new job cause his company is shutting down. But he will go in at a higher wage and a company car.
You fight getting the kids through homework, baths and for your teenage daughter the drama of her first boyfriend.
By the end of the week. Things are beginning to fall in place. Laundry is done hubby went and bought you a new machine. The job came through for him.
The kids are scrubbed and daughter has moved on to something reasonable horses again.
You sit down to a shoulder rub and a glass of wine. And a phone call that tells you the coworker that gave you fits walked out with the copy machine repair man.
Hubby puts his arm around you gives you a kiss as the kids yell yes that you are the greatest parents ever because vacation is Disneyland.
Such is the daily mundane tasks.

Thoughts about Sunsets


I sit and wonder through the hills and valley’s of my mind and rarely make any progress as to what I am thinking about.
In the last couple of days I am continually thinking about sunsets. Why, if anyone can tell me why I’ll be glad to listen. Then I decided it maybe due to the fractured mess of the past ten days.
Sunsets can be absolutely beautiful they can be bright and sunny leaving you thinking of  bright romantic evenings.
Then there are bright orange and reds that can feel happy like clowns have decorated the sky.
The deep grays that drift into the blues of midnights with the sudden burst of
light that streaks down to the ground with a force that lights up the entire sky.
The clouds that are white and fluffy from one side and dark and foreboding as the wind gathers strength. The first huge drop of rain that gathers several of its kind together and falls to the fields below giving a nourishing drink to the earth below. Only to blow itself out and letting the sky lighten so evening can fall with a coolness that we all enjoy with a sweetness from flowers, hay and grass that’s been mown.
Sunsets are amazing works of arts. That is why they are painted so often they let your mind wonder into a world that might make you go a wandering.
(Okay so it was a bad pun. Got one better please share.)

Memorial Day.


They talk about Memorial Day. But very few know what that means. Memorial day is known as race day in Indianapolis, for the Car race.

Memorial day was to give respect and honor for those who gave their lives in battle. Federally Recognized in 1911. But it honors all wars going back to the Civil war, World  War one and two, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm, and our current military wars in Afgahastan and middle East.
In my book it doesn’t matter whether you believed in why we were involved but it does matter that we give our Military men and women the acknowledgement they deserve for being and protecting us. So without further ado. I am listing the few personal people that I know that is past and present.
Norman F. Qualkinbush, John Hicks, Jack Qualkinbush, Ross Qualkinbush all the men from the  Hicks that have served . this includes Cheryl’s son, Janice and Ron Payne’s, and any of the others I know that have served.
All my uncles Clair smith, Carl Owen, Robert Durham, Donald McBride, Frank McBride, to the cousins that have served.
Bob Davis, Kitti Sweeney, Don and Bob Record, Charlie Bain, Holt Burton,and Holt Buford Weyant, all of the Weyant nieces, nephews, Danny Weyant, to the in going family members. Billy Brandon’s daughter Tiffany, Robert Luther Fodge, Robert Lynn Fodge.
Joe Schmaltz, Doug Wagner.

I know there is at least two dozen more that I can’t think of. Patty Fodge’s brother for one. Plus all the classmates that have served our country. So any one I may have missed Thank You, I hope that this feeble attempt pays tribute to the people that have given so much to keep this country free.

Mother’s day


I have been at two different truck stops today. Both times I have been treated with the utmost respect. A good meal a
Discount coupon for my next meal. I was given something both times I hadn’t expected. I received two flowers both carnations. A single flower from two different waitresses. Both were working mothers. One had grown kids and the other had girls ages 4, 6, and 10.
These women who should have gotten flowers, were giving me the flowers. Oh I know that that Truck stops of America can afford it. But it still touched my heart.
I don’t have natural children of my own. It wasn’t in God’s plans for me. My husband’s boys call me mom. Which I appreciate. I love those boys as if they were my own.
I don’t regret many things in my life. I have a very blessed life. But I do regret not being able to have held a new born in my arms. Waking up to a gleeful laugh coming from a little cherub who is laughing at something only they can see. Having someone ask “why?” for the hundredth time. Watching the first steps, the first words, the first award in school.
Sorry don’t mean to get melancholy. But I do when I know I will never hear the word Mom coming to me or about me from a child of my own.
So today here is my prayer for today.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please bless all the mother’s in this world let them know how lucky they are as parents. May they never know the ache of missing a child, for whatever reason. Amen.,

Who is this man.


Who is this man that would willing die for our sins? How could one man live to be the sacrificial lamb to save the most ungrateful people ever?
He was beaten crowned with thorns made to carry his own cross all so he could be our savior.
Born to be a king, teacher, carpenter Shepard, fisher of men and yet he was betrayed by a man for a hundred pieces of silver.
He would not save himself for it wasn’t his father’s will.
He loved everyone man woman and child. He healed the sick made the blind see.
Yet he is forgotten by most people today. He isn’t taught in lots of places. We are told we can’t worship him by the ones who don’t believe.
Yet his followers are millions strong and getting stronger.
So who is this man? He is the Alpha and Omega, the wind in which we breath, the grace of god. Our future and our past. He is love. He is our savior, Jesus of Nazareth and Prince of
Peace and the Messiah.