Death Fire 12


Staring at the black ash where the cabin had been made me tremble a little. It had looked like something out of a science fiction movie.
“Well I best go put a stop to the funeral homes coming out here. There ain’t nothing left to pick up, or scoop up to bury. How do you write something like this up?”
Whitey turned toward the patrol car. “You want a ride back to town?”
Looking at Josh he shook his head no, “I’ll bring her into town.”
“Suit yourselves but stay away from that river, however, I can’t stop people for going for a drive.”
“Don’t know what we are doing but going to Rennie’s for something to eat. I owe Josh that much for bring me out here and taking me home.”
The sheriff threw his hand up and waved as he got into his car and pulled out.
We stood there watching as he drove out of sight.
Turning to Josh I had only one thing to say, “What in blazes was that?”
Shaking his head he walked back to the now quiet hole in the ground.
“And what did he mean by it was the reason the river was closed to the public?”
“I spent close to fifteen years as special forces and I have never in encountered something like this. I swear it was like a huge battery discharging.” He shook his head, “There are legends about this phenomenon but no one has ever been able to prove it.”
“Is this something that could bring the government in here and have all of us locked away for life?” I pulled my hair back out of my face. I would have a migraine by the time I let it loose later that night.
“If my thinking is right it could. I have a person or two I can talk to. My old commander for one. Come on Doc let’s go eat. I need to think.”

2 comments on “Death Fire 12

  1. Unless asked specifically by an author, I seldom comment on the first few pages as a good author will be pointing to several possible scenarios in those first pages; however, I must my usual procedure and comment after the first twelve sections.
    1. Scenic development–clean up starts after a severe rainfall; search for survivors; bodies and indication of extreme violence are found at the Maison residence; no concrete explanation for the violence, the brutal deaths. Nor was there a concrete explanation for the turbulent winds that later destroyed the house.
    2. Character development–characters introduced as necessary and when necessary, (character might be mentioned before actual entry into the story line, i.e. the other doctor in the area, a male and older. Development of Ella, Josh, and the state trooper show good beginnings; the manner in which they are developed gives a feeling of the character’s (s’) importance to the plot line.

    • gweyant says:

      Your absolutely right on all accounts. But the as far as the unexplained violence the brutal deaths and the winds. That is why the story isn’t finished. They don’t know the answers. They don’t have the answers except one. The winds have obviously caused the deaths, why the winds have come up through the floor. This all build up for more of the story. A very wise writing teacher says to have the story leaving the reader with questions.
      Also Ellouise thank you for commenting I very much appreciate it when you comment. ” I learn things.”

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