Marriage to do or not to do.

I sat talking To a young friend. Who has known both my husband and myself for over twenty years.. He told me that he had decided not to get married ever.
I asked home why he had come to that decision. He said, “his parents did nothing but fight before their divorce and it seemed like all you and Uncle; do is fight.”
“Sam, you can not base your decision on my marriage.”
“Why not?”
“Because my first marriage ended because of violence, and control issues that left me unable to completely give my heart to my husband. It makes me question everything he tries to tell me. And my husband had lots of issues with trust. His ex-wife played mind games and lied when the truth would have done more good.”
“Granted we fight but we still love each other. We have both grown changed and learned from each other. I love him more today than I did 27 years ago. I have learned that now is now and past is past.”
“You can argue to clear the air between you but if you keep it in mind that you are a team that works toward a goal and not play a game of tug of war with each others emotions. You can have a good marriage.”
I don’t know if I made any great strides in making a young man change his mind on marriage but I gave him something to think about.

2 comments on “Marriage to do or not to do.

  1. It is something that everyone has to learn–that two people who have a committed relationship can disagree, even loudly with each other and still have a committed relationship. It means that they have to take time to debrief, to examine the points of difference, the points of agreement and determine which are most important to them; to build a bit of common ground from which to operate..

    I find it interesting that your young friend based his point of reference for such an important position on only two examples. One would think that it takes more than two example to prove or disprove a theory on human behavior.

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